Fata Morgana
by evilkatz
Summary: Allelujah's life is turned upside down when it is revealed that the HRL had much more in store for him and Marie. Alle/Marie, but that will most likely change. Possible future yaoi.
1. Chapter 1

Fata Morgana

By evilkat

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Allelujah followed Sumeragi and Tieria down the corridor to the tactical forecaster's quarters. He knew why they wanted to speak with him, he just didn't care. He wanted to get back to Marie and they were keeping him from that. He hadn't even been allowed to change out of his flight suit. As soon as the cockpit of Arios opened, they were waiting for him.

"Please sit down, Allelujah," said as she gestured to the bed. The whole room smelled like stale whiskey. It was especially strong on the bed covers. She dropped into her own chair with a heavy sigh. "I think you know why we brought you in here."

Tiera glared at him from where he stood, leaning against the wall. There was no use trying to lie or make excuses. If he just came clean, he could be done with this whole reprimand that much faster. Allelujah kept his eyes on the floor. "I jeopardized the mission by failing to see the two Aheads coming up on our six."

"You almost got Lockon killed is what you did!" Tieria snapped. Allelujah flinched at the harsh tone, but kept quiet. A screaming match was not going to get him out of there any quicker. He knew better than that.

"Tieria, please," Sumeragi intervened and the other man backed down. Directing her attention back over to the bed, she started again, much calmer than her cohort. "Look, Allelujah, this isn't the first time this has happened. We're starting to get concerned. You seem to be loosing focus during critical times. Your sense of duty isn't what it used to be."

"It's because of that girl," Tieria interrupted. There was no missing the venom in his voice.

"What?" That got his attention. He blinked, looking back and forth between the two in confusion. "What does Marie have to do with any of this?"

Sumeragi made a "you're-not-helping" face at Tieria and that's when Allelujah really started to worry.

"There isn't an easy way to tell you this, so I'm going to be blunt," the older woman stated. Her eyes hardened as she sat up a little straighter in her chair and hit him with a remark that nearly knocked him over.

"We have your files from the HRL Supersoldier program."

Allelujah felt the air freeze in his lungs. "What? How…how long have you had them?"

Sumeragi and Tieria shared a quick glance. "Since the beginning," the other Meister answered.

"How—"

"Veda."

He stared up at Tieria's ageless face, disbelieving what he was hearing. "The answer to all of my questions was in your possession all this time and you didn't think to tell me about it until now?!" He was pissed beyond all belief.

"I know, I know," Sumeragi said, trying to cool down the situation. "It's just that you were so vulnerable back then. I didn't want to upset you any further—"

"Upset me?" he roared, jumping to his feet. "This is my life we're talking about here!"

Tieria pushed himself away from the wall, read to intervene if necessary. "Sit down, Allelujah, and listen to what she has to say." The Arios pilot glowered for a moment and then sat back down on the bed.

Visibly shaken, Sumeragi turned her chair around and grabbed her laptop off the desk. "Here, take a look at this. The file details most of the, uh, experiments you underwent, but this one section here," she pointed to the screen as she handed the laptop over. "This section talks about the quantum wave surgery on your brain."

Allelujah took the computer from her and skimmed the screen quickly. It was mostly a diary of the surgery and his recovery and something called Project Greenfield. It was distressing to see the name E-0057 and know that it was referring to him.

_12-07-2296. E-0057 came through initial testing with no genetic flaws. We have _

_high hopes he will be a suitable candidate._

_E-0057 reacted adversely to the second round of growth hormone therapy. Failure to react positively to the third round will result in his expulsion from Project Greenfield. _

How many years had that been his sole identity? But he still wasn't sure what he was supposed to be looking for. "I don't see anything out of the…" Allelujah trailed off as something caught his eye.

_04-05-2299- E-0057 and E-0163 have successfully established and maintained a quantum wave bond for nearly three weeks now. The other scientists, myself included, are confident that once the neural implant surgery is complete, we will have another successful breeding pair._

A sudden pain, sharp and icy, sliced through his brain from the back of his head to his right eye. Hissing through clenched teeth, he pressed the heel of his palm into his eye.

"Allelujah, are you alright?" Sumeragi asked.

He ignored her and growled, "Breeding pair?"

The tactical forecaster was on her feet, attempting to pry his hand away from his face. "Are you in pain? Let me have a look."

He slapped her hand away. "I'm fine. Answer my question."

Tieria answered for her. "In addition to creating the perfect killing machines, the HRL wanted those soldiers to create the next generation of genetically perfect weapons." Allelujah turned his mismatched eyes to the other man as he continued his explanation. "As far as we can tell, Marie is most likely the E-0163 mentioned in the files."

"Allelujah," Sumeragi beckoned gently. Once she had the Arios pilot's attention, she continued. "That drive, that compulsion you feel towards her…it's most likely fabricated. Both of you had implants placed in your brains that were to be activated with the onset of puberty. It was supposed to strengthen your bond, so that as you both grew in your soldier training, you would also grow closer in a more intimate way." She paused as a blush colored her cheeks. "Since you were separated from her before that could happen, it looks like you're making up for lost time. I'm so sorry to have to tell you this."

He was not hearing this. There was no way. There was just no feasible way that any of what he was being told was true. It was impossible that everything he was feeling for Marie was false. He felt it with every fiber of his being. How could it be wrong?

"No," Allelujah whispered. The anger was building to the point where he didn't know what to do with himself. He heart thumped against his ribcage like it wanted to burst through it.

"Oh, Allelujah, I'm so sorry," Sumeragi said. She made a move towards him, but he cut off whatever she was about to offer the moment her hand touched his shoulder. He shoved her—hard. She toppled backwards, ricocheting off her chair and landing on the floor. Stunned into silence, she could only stare up at the enraged Meister, wide-eyed.

"What the hell is the matter with you?" shouted Tieria as he grabbed Allelujah firmly by his forearm. That was clearly not the best course of action to take as it only served to piss the other man off further.

Practically roaring like an animal, Allelujah turned and fisted both hands in the collar of Tieria's uniform and slammed him back into the wall of the cabin. "Liars…both of you!" he screamed into Tieria's face.

"What reason would we have for lying?" Tieria wheezed out. The weight of Allelujah's body crushing his chest was making it hard to breathe. "Think about it."

Allelujah shook his head. Logic and reason had taken a back seat to anger and aggression. Not since Hallelujah's "death" had he felt such blinding rage. The difference this time around was the fact that he didn't have a backseat view of it all. No, he was fully in control now. That is, if having one of your closest friends practically in a chokehold is considered control. "You just don't want me to be happy," he stammered. "You want me to be an emotionless robot to carry out your orders."

Tieria actually managed to look hurt by that remark. "You're not thinking clearly, Allelujah. We have no reason to behave like that. Think about what you are saying. This is not you." His voice remained calm despite his fingers desperate attempt to pull the other man's hands loose.

"No!" The Arios pilot punctuated that statement with another slam of Tieria's lithe body against the wall. "What would an inhuman bastard like you know of love, huh? You're jealous. That's right, you're both jealous that I found some small kernel of happiness in this whole god-forsaken war and now you want to take it from me. Never! That is…never…going…to…."

Allelujah's eyes rolled up into his head right before he collapsed in a heap at Tieria's feet. "Should I even bother to ask why you have a hypo-gun of tranquilizers in your quarters?" the incredibly thankful pilot said as he met Sumeragi's weary gaze.

"Remember that section about how the implant stimulated the adrenal gland?" she responded as she tossed the empty hypo-gun onto the bed.

Tieria cocked an eyebrow. "Well, never let it be said that you aren't thorough in your research."

Sumeragi laughed dryly. "Now, let's get loverboy here to the infirmary."

~*~*~*~

The lab again. He didn't want to go. The soldiers behind him gave him a push and he forced his legs to move. Bad things happened here, but he didn't dare resist. The place smelled antiseptic, the scent covering the room's secrets as machines hummed in electronic unison. They strapped him to the examination table. The overhead light blinded him, making it hard to distinguish one shape from another. Scientists moved about in the shadows like rats. Only his eyes roamed freely until they too, took that away from him.

The metal apparatus they clamped to his face had two smaller, smooth sliver appendages that were inserted into the corners of his right eye while two others slid along under his eyelid on the top and bottom effectively holding it open. His eyeball immediate began to dry and tear as he tried desperately to close it. The slightest movement in any direction caused pain so horrible he felt as if someone had poured glass shards into his eye. He could only look up, straight up into the machine that hovered directly over his face.

With sickening horror he realized that the low humming he was hearing was the machine slowly lowering. A glint of light drew his attention to the long, thin needle protruding from the end of an arm-like attachment. It was poised to stab him directly in his pried open eye.

_No…please god, no._

Despite his best effort, there was no way he was going to escape from his bonds. As the needle came closer with an agonizingly slow pace, he attempted to turn his head to avoid it, pain be damned. But it was useless, he was held too securely. When the tip of the needle finally reached his eye, there was the briefest moment where there was no sensation and then the world as he knew it exploded into a white-hot furnace of pain so excruciating, he thought he would die from it. They had not given him anesthetic of any kind.

He had made a promise to himself long ago that he would not scream for them, not matter what they did, he would not give in to them. His pride was the last and only thing he could say was truly his. But scream he did.

And did.

And did.

He was still screaming when he came out of the dream, arching his back as the memory of pain followed him into consciousness. He pressed his palm into his right eye and blindly reached out with the other until he came into contact with something hard and cool to the touch. Allelujah opened his good eye. He was encased in acrylic glass. He recognized it immediately--A recovery bed.

_No. No. _

What had they done to him this time?

He began to thrash wildly, pounding his fists against the pane. The air was getting tight, he couldn't breathe. They were trying to suffocate him. That's what they did to children who failed the Program. He kicked and punched with all his might, panicked, desperate, even after his knuckles became bloody. Then, with a sudden hiss, the chamber opened and cool air rushed in. Allelujah was up and out of it before the top had slid down completely. He pressed his back into the nearest corner and waited for them to come and get him. He wasn't going without a fight.

He waited, but there was nothing, no sound save for his panting breaths. As he calmed, a burning sensation began to register. He looked down at his bloodied hands—his very adult bloodied hands—and time slowly began to catch up with him again. What happened?

"Allelujah?"

His head snapped up at the sound of his name, and he saw at Sumeragi Li Noriega standing across the room. Minimum safe distance, his mind supplied sarcastically. She had a hesitant expression on her face. His display in the recovery chamber had more than likely frightened her and from the look of it, she was alone. He did a mental backtracking of the last events before waking up here in the infirmary and remembered the incident in Sumeragi's quarters.

"Sumeragi-san?" he said quietly. He had been so angry, so out of control. Guilt washed over him like a tidal wave. He had physically attacked Tieria. He remembered the intensity of wanting to hurt the other man so badly. That was so unlike him. He wasn't like that. Not at all. He bowed his head in shame. "Oh, Sumeragi-san, I'm so sorry. I-I don't know what happened. I…I—"

"Its okay, Allelujah," she answered and hurried over to kneel down in front of him. "We suspected something like that might happen and were prepared."

"But, I tried to hurt Tieria!"

"Its okay, it's okay," she soothed. "He's fine. You didn't hurt him. It's the implant, Allelujah. The implant is responsible for all of these crazy fluctuations in your mood."

The Arios pilot stared at her momentarily before turning his gaze back down to the floor. That's right, the implant. Just another shining example of how bad the HRL ruined his life. "You probably want to pull my flight status, right?"

The older women sighed. It sounded vaguely relieved. "Temporarily, yes. We need to find out more about what's going on in your head. There is a doctor I know that I want to have a look at both you and Marie. I think he can help. While we're Earth-side, I figured this would probably be the best time."

Allelujah nodded. There was really no other choice. If he wanted to stay a part of Celestial Being, he would have to submit. Though, the thought of letting some strange doctor, or any doctor for that matter, run tests on him was enough to twist his gut into knots. He had been someone's little science project enough for twenty lifetimes.

Sumeragi stood and tugged lightly on Allelujah's sleeve. "Come on; let's get those hands taken care of."

She led him over to one of the tables and he sat solemnly while she dressed his wounds, barely flinching when she dabbed his raw knuckles with alcohol. "You haven't told Marie yet, have you?" he asked softly.

The older woman gave him a sidelong glance before continuing to bandage his hand. "No, I figured I'd let you do that." She ripped off a piece of surgical tape with her teeth and secured the end of gauze. "There you go. Good as new."

She smiled brightly at Allelujah and he wished he could return the favor. Despite her best effort not to, she still looked after those under her command. He wouldn't call it motherly, after all, not having a mother, he couldn't relate, but there was definitely an older sister type of vibe. He never paid it much mind before, but at this moment, he was grateful.

"Here, I want you to take this." Sumeragi pressed the data stick into his overly bandaged palm. "Look it over with Marie. Talk about everything. I can't imagine this will be easy for either of you, but you both deserve to know the truth."

Allelujah didn't dare try to speak. If he tried, all he would be able to do is scream out his agony. He instead nodded his head and quietly slipped off the table and made his way to the door. "Thank you, Sumeragi-san," he said, pausing briefly, but not turning around.

"You're welcome, Allelujah," came the gentle reply.

Standing in the empty corridor, he realized he didn't know where he should go. He didn't want to go back to his quarters. Marie was there waiting for him and he wasn't ready to handle that just yet. He needed to try and wrap his head around everything that had just happened before he would even dream of approaching her. After all, how do you tell someone you love with all that you are that that love might not be real? That it's just a fabrication, a manipulation of your brain chemistry and hormones by people playing god? But on the other hand, how could it be wrong when he felt it so strongly? How could a room full of scientists do that?

He should have known better to ask that question, but Allelujah still felt like his world had just been ripped out from under him.

TBC…

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Fata Morgana- a very complex superior mirage with alternations of compressed and stretched zones and erect and inverted images. Fata Morgana is also a fast changing mirage. Feedback is never demanded, but always appreciated.


	2. Chapter 2

Fata Morgana- Chapter 2

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Allelujah stepped out of the lift and into the large hanger bay, fastidiously ignoring the ambient noise of the repair crews hard at work. His body found its way back here by itself with little input from his conscious mind. Arios loomed in the distance and he wanted sanctuary. Just the sight of his Gundam was enough to make him feel somewhat relieved. At least until Ian stepped in front of him and blocked him from the catwalk.

"Sorry, Allelujah. I can't let you go there," the older man stated. "Sumeragi's orders."

Allelujah's eyes widened. "Why?" was all he could get his mouth to say.

Ian rubbed the back of his neck and looked around nervously. "I was told you've been grounded. That means Arios is off limits until you get reinstated."

"But I don't want to do anything or even run diagnostics." It was hard to hide his disbelief. Did they really think he was so unstable that he might steal Arios and run off somewhere? "I just want to…I…please, I need to…"

_Just sit inside. _It sounded so silly and childish inside his head. Maybe that was why he couldn't voice it, but the "please" caused Ian's face to relax a bit.

"Look, I'm sorry, but I have my orders," he told Allelujah gently. Over Ian's shoulder he could see Saji watching the two of them with a worried expression.

Apparently the word about him had spread quickly and they were on the lookout for another violent episode. Just how long was he unconscious anyway? "Al-alright, I understand," he replied quietly and turned to walk away towards the small ready-room just off the main hanger. He could stay there for a while before heading back down to the crew quarters. It would buy him some more time before he had to confront Marie.

Once inside the narrow room, he plopped down onto the bench. He didn't bother turning on any of the lights, content to sit in the near-dark with the soft glow from the computer console across from him. Undoing the wrist cuff on his flight suit, he pulled back the sleeve to reveal his watch. Nearly three hours had passed since he returned from the mission. Marie must be worried about him by now. What was he going to say to her?

Resting his elbows on his knees, he buried his face in his hands. She was going to know something is up as soon as she saw him if she hadn't felt it through the link already. He was just going to have to lay it all out for her. There was no other way. If he tried to spare her feelings, she would see right through him in an instant. Allelujah felt his chest tighten. She was going to be so upset by this. He promised that he would shield her from such unpleasantness and here he was about to declare that their love for each other might not be real. If that wasn't the most hurtful thing he could do to her, he didn't know what was.

It didn't change the fact that he still wanted to hide from her a bit longer. He was never good at confrontation of the face-to-face variety. It was one thing to have the anonymity of a Gundam cockpit and another to have to watch the dance of emotions across someone's face and know that you were the cause of it. Had he always been such a coward?

Allelujah looked down at the data stick nestled in his uncurled fist and sighed. Perhaps it was better if he looked over all the information before dropping this bomb in Marie's lap. He stood and walked over to the console. The large display came to life with dozens upon dozens of file screens when he inserted the stick. There were pictures, analysis charts, statistics, as well as hundreds of pages of what looked like journal entries. The sheer amount of it all was astounding. But it wasn't all of the testing and experiments that interested him. He relived those atrocities nightly. No, he wanted to go back to the beginning, where he came from.

It was true that his earliest memories were of the HRL orphanage he was kept in until being shipped off to the Super Solider Institute on Quiaqui, but sometimes, when he was quiet and calm, he remembered someplace else. The edges of that memory were as tattered as a frayed sweater and would scatter like dandelion seeds in a gust of wind if he tried to linger too long. Sunlight reflected off a red, travertine tile floor. That brief glimpse of _something_ was enough to always leave him wondering.

The handlers at the orphanage as well as the overseers at the Institute constantly told them that they were the unwanted leftovers of society whose parents had, either by death or by design, left them to the HRL to use them how they saw fit. Allelujah had often wondered what happened to the children that were either too old or did not possess the genetic and personality traits the Institute had been looking for. After he learned of the disposal units for the "failed" experiments, he stopped. Sometimes it was better to not let your mind wander into some places, especially when the reality was just as bad.

Allelujah scrolled through all the pages until he came across what appeared to be his original processing papers. Attached to the information were a few pictures of him. Standard back, front, and profile shots. He couldn't have been more than five years old. It was the first time he had ever seen pictures of himself at such a young age. An innocent, completely bewildered face stared back at him. Both of his eyes were blue-grey. Allelujah could not recall a time when he had looked at his reflection and not seen one gold iris staring back at him. Just how old was he when they performed the surgery? He couldn't remember. His time in the HRL Super Solider Facility had blurred together into one mish-mosh of events.

Scanning down on the page was a nondescript notation of his transfer from an orphanage in Yakutsk. It was a fairly large city in the mostly old Russian sector, but had seen a larger Asian population rise in the many years after the HRL's formation. Allelujah knew he had to be of mixed race, what with his olive complexion and almond-shaped eyes, and this basically confirmed that. It wasn't much, but it was a place he could start his search. Scrolling down further on the page, his eye was drawn to the line:

**PARENTS:** Classified.

Not deceased, not unknown—classified. If this was already a classified document, then why was that information classified even further? Allelujah didn't get the opportunity to ponder that gravity of that notion any further when the sudden hiss of the ready-room door opening jarred him out of this thoughts. He quickly yanked the data stick out of the console before spinning around to greet the intruder.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't think anyone was in here," Lyle Dylandy said. He was silhouetted against the light from the corridor.

Allelujah knew it was a lie. In the months since his rescue he had quickly learned that even though they shared the same face, this man was _not _the Lockon Stratus he'd known for years. And in getting to know this new person, he quickly came to realize that nothing Lyle did was by accident or happenstance. There was always something quietly calculating about the other man that made Allelujah uneasy.

He clutched the data stick tightly in his hand. "It's okay. I was just leaving," he told the older man and moved to push past him to exit the room.

Lyle turned to watch him leave, but didn't say anything though Allelujah suspected that he wanted to. If the maintenance crew knew of his grounded status, it was a safe bet that Lyle knew as well. And given the fact that it was his fault that Cherudim had taken quite the beating, he was sure that there was going to be a confrontation sooner or later and he very much wanted the latter right at this moment.

Allelujah strode briskly down the corridor fighting the urge to look back to see if Lyle was still watching him. The intrusion left him with no other options other than returning to his quarters and speaking with Marie. He took a deep breath to try and calm his nerves before opening the door.

Marie was seated on the bed, their bed, cross-legged with her laptop nestled in the crook of her legs. She looked up and smiled when he entered. He did his best to return it, but inside, he felt his heart sink. To her credit, she didn't say anything to him and allowed him to change out of his flight suit and back into his uniform. He could feel her eyes on his back the entire time. When he finally turned around to face her, she had a puzzled expression on her face.

"What's wrong?" she asked, tucking a strand of long silver-white hair behind her ear.

Allelujah opened his mouth, but quickly closed it. He had no idea where to begin.

TBC…

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Sorry for the long wait everyone. I've come to the conclusion that this story may be slightly longer than I originally planned and have opted to try shorter chapters in the hopes that I might get them out faster. Feedback is always appreciated, but never demanded.


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